It's All Your Fault

Do not blame anybody for your mistakes and failures.
Bernard Baruch

I read this very funny story about a dying man on his sick bed spending the last days of his life. He turned to his wife seated on an uncomfortable stool by his bed and said,

Dear, you’ve been with me through thick and thin. When I got fired from my job you were there. When we lost our child you were there. When I lost the business you were there. And even when my health has failed, here you are” After a few moments of silence he looked up at her and said, “you know what? You are bad luck!”

Blaming others for our plight is one of the most common means of giving excuses for our failures. We would say anything to get away from taking responsibility,

The tree jumped out in front of me so I hit it, I wasn’t driving too fast”

“I’m fat because my wife is always cooking delicious meals, it’s her fault”

“I didn’t steal; the money was right there on the table begging me to take it”

“My stupid roommate played jazz music and it made me sleep, that’s why I didn’t read for the exams”

“I hit her because she won’t stop talking”

Blame is just a lazy person’s way of making sense of chaos
Douglas Coupland

There’s no end to the excuses we can give and who we can blame to escape being held accountable. Our first reaction once something goes wrong is to find how to eliminate ourselves like a child whose first response to a question asked about a committed mischief is, “it wasn’t me” when they were not even accused.

In life, you can blame a lot of people and you can wallow in self-pity, or you can pick yourself up and say ‘Listen, I have to be responsible for myself’
Howard Schultz

Our subconscious can twist situations in our minds and make our problems look like someone else’s fault to free us from the burden of obligation and the pain of making amends. Because there is pain with taking responsibility, the human mind develops a defence mechanism to keep us from hurting. It is our duty to consciously accept our place and contribution to the creation of our problems even when other human or non-human agents are involved.

We’re obligated to seek out and explore as many opportunities as possible without giving in to the succour of passing blame, there’s always more than one way of overcoming obstruction to success. And even when the situation is unrepairable, take responsibility and learn from it, gain the necessary experience and character to overcome a similar obstacle in the future.

Your life is the fruit of your own doing. You have no one to blame but yourself
Joseph Campbell

So next time before you point that finger, make sure it’s the mirror in front of you.

picture courtesy of percyfan94/ 

Kanayo Aniegboka

Kani is a Nigerian born and based minister, public speaker, entrepreneur and life coach. His keen and unique perspective to life issues makes him a refreshing voice to listen to. He currently serves as the Executive Coordinator of House on the Rock - Word House and sits on the board of a number of companies.

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