Help Me Help You! - 3 things you do that sabotage your success.

I don’t know how many of you have seen the movie ‘Jerry Maguire’ staring Cuba Gooding Jr and Tom Cruise? It’s about a sports agent trying to work with a disgruntled, rather spoilt football player who stretches him to the edge of his already breaking mind. The agent who just lost his job wants to sign on the football player and help him get to the top of his career, but the football player won’t work with him. Erratic and short tempered, the player keeps doing the wrong things, frustrating all the efforts of the agent. There are two scenes in the movie that stand out to me and most other people I’m sure, the first is the player shouting over the phone at the agent “Show me the money!”, the other is the agent shouting at the player in a locker room “ Help me help you!”.

We learn early in life to frustrate both our efforts and those of others trying to help us. Right from when we were toddlers; fighting off our mother when she wants to give us a bath, kicking and screaming at the doctor that wants to inject us with a cure for our illness, to hating the school teacher that tries to educate us, all the way to ignoring our carrier and life mentors who now try to tell us what is right for us. I once heard of a twelve year old who refuses to copy notes and intentionally fails her exams because her teacher offended her (guess who will grow up dumb?). Consciously or unconsciously we tend to put barriers to our progress by resisting help. This help could be outside help from others or inside help from ourselves, oh yes, we even resist ourselves from helping ourselves.
We perpetuate this evil against ourselves in a number of ways

·         We don’t do what we’re told to do: As human, we seem to have this inbuilt malfunction that we don’t just do what we’re told. On every level and stage in life, we struggle with obeying simple orders. Every day, we refuse to do and even bear the consequences of disobedience; from losing money to fraudsters, to paying that fine for breaking the traffic lights, to refusing to take the moral commands from our place of worship.

·         We do what we know we should not do: How many times have you told yourself “I knew I should not have done that!”? We constantly sabotage our progress by doing the things we know we should not, like a head smashing hangover after a wild party, we tend to agree we should not do certain things only after we have done them.

·         We don’t do what we know we should do:  Do you know how often we pass over opportunities to better ourselves? We refuse to read, attend seminars and lectures, form alliances, seek advice and counsel… all around us are things and activities to help us become the best we can be, but we choose not to do them. We would rather stare into space than read a good book, we’ll rather watch movie magic than study for a professional exam, and we’ll reasonably defend blowing a bundle on a night out than pay a tenth of it on an online certificate course. I love to have fun, and I don’t mean we should not relax, but let’s relax after we've done some work to help us.

Ask yourself today what you will do to ‘help yourself help you’, because even though you are shouting at life to ‘show you the money’, life is shouting back even louder, ‘help me help you!’.

Image courtesy of/Mister GC/ 

Kanayo Aniegboka

Kani is a Nigerian born and based minister, public speaker, entrepreneur and life coach. His keen and unique perspective to life issues makes him a refreshing voice to listen to. He currently serves as the Executive Coordinator of House on the Rock - Word House and sits on the board of a number of companies.

1 comment: